What a week...

Such a week for sadness. Last monday, our best friends had a miscarriage at 5 mos. As much and as deeply as we grieve for them, we feel a sense of loss ourselves. When I think how heartbroken I am to lose the new little angel I was so looking forward to holding and spoiling and babysitting, I cannot even conceive of what her parents are feeling. I feel that we are so fortunate to have them as friends. They've let us share in the joys of their lives and spoil their 2 kids and given us their help and support. Now, they have the grace of spirit to allow us to grieve with them and to feel like we've been of some small use to them. It can be a hard place to be when you care greatly about someone who's in so much pain and to have no way to express your own caring or your own grief which seems rendered insignificant by comparison. I'm so glad to have friends who could reach out to us and include us in even this most private and painful time.

Today, just a few minutes ago, I learned of the passing of hubby's brother-in-law. His lung cancer progressed so rapidly that it's terrifying. Just a month ago, they told him he might not last a year and now today, he's gone. For all of you who smoke -- just stop. There's no way to describe the distress of the family gathered around him trying to breathe for him as they watch him struggle to breathe. There are probably harder, scarier, more painful ways to die but there are not many. He was someone who would have tried to do just anything for someone he cared about. Always pleasant and always interested in the friends and family around him. I think maybe it makes the pain and frustration of his illness just that much more upsetting. I think people don't mind when someone bad tempered suffers. When someone who needs to make peace with their Maker or their family lingers, it seems justified that they have time to tie up the loose ends of their lives. This man had neither issue. There was just nothing about him that would make you feel justified that he suffered or that he needed time to come to terms with anyone. There was nothing at all that he ever did that made him "deserve" this type of death except for one thing.. he just couldn't quit smoking.

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